Curses Upon Thee, Patches!
by Alone in the blight
Summary: A spiritual sequel to "Dammit, Patches!" where Patches is not pleasant with Pate tricking and looting the gullible in Drangliec.


**My mind is blank as of late….must…write….something D:**

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Pate sat idly on some rubble waiting for another potential victim. Undeads these days…. gullible like witless children. May be they are more desperate to find answers than being gullible but it mattered not , as long as he keeps stripping their misguided corpses, all is fine and dandy.

The clashes of swords alerted Pate '_Someone must be tangling with the hollows'_ he thought as he tried to be as docile and friendly as possible with his spear within his reach of course; one may never know what kind of fools one is facing.

The air settled once more and the grunts of the hollowed soldiers died with its source. These soldiers are slow and sluggish…not a hassle by any stretch of imagination. Outbesting them means that one is capable of defending oneself at least.

With his peripheral vision, Pate spotted a bald man in a black leather outfit. He held a spear and a shield very similar to the way Pate handles his weapon which agitated the man of course.

"Hail, An adventurer have we? " Pate started the conversation with a wide smile.

"Nah mate, I didn't come here for glory or fame, I am here for the riches ! This lands must be ripe with riches! _Heheeheh!"_ The man's tone disturbed Pate slightly. He was clever in hiding his true intent.

"Treasures are sparse in these parts I am afraid. This kingdom had better days. it won't be the same after the giants." Said Pate monotonously then he reconsidered his words "On second thought, I think i caught the glimmer of a treasure chest just up ahead when I was fleeing from those madmen….i don't have the courage to outbest them."

"What a shame! So you are not going after it?" exclaimed the bald man.

"Not at all; One's life is over any treasure. It is all yours , just head yonder past this gate and you wil-" Pate was cut mid-sentence by a quick jab to the shoulder by the bald man's spear.

"**Only a trickster can know a trickster…." **The bald man yanked his spear for the death blow if it weren't for Pate's shield. Pate Bashed him to get some space.

"Not bad, Not bad at all. I do need to warn you: The last man who crossed me rots in a cell. Don't force me to retaliate and begone." Luckily Pate's hard leather armour was sturdy enough to absorb some of the thrust's force.

"Afraid now, are ya? Get your hands dirty for once, Bruv!" the bald man didn't hesitate to attack despite Pate's warning. Since they were equally matched, none had actually inflicted any sort of injury towards the other.

Pate managed to throw his spear at his foe's wooden great shield. This daring move was but a distraction as Pate managed to lure a triad of hollow soldiers to the fray by an alluring skull. While the bald man was busy with the hollows, Pate pulled out a small dagger for an underhanded backstab….

….only to be knocked out from behind.

* * *

Patch didn't love Drangleic, not even a single bit. There were no clerics to harass. The only one Patches could find was slain by another undead for her trickery….typical clerics. More importantly, he didn't like Drangleic due to the scarce number of gullible travellers. He stumbled upon a man in the huntsman's copse. This man, Creighton, was apparently locked by a scoundrel, a schemer…an imposter. The dyad agreed on killing this Pate.

Creighton's reasons for such act were obvious; he had been tricked by this slithering man and so he wanted some of that sweet revenge. Patch's reasons however were entirely different… he wanted to 'eliminate' any potential competition.

Patches snapped back to reality as Pate was hazily waking up. he was tied up and armless of course, still , that didn't stop him from squealing around. Creighton gave him a warm welcome "**Mornin' you piece of shite!"**

Pate's eyes widened upon meeting Creighton's "I-i-I see you are unharmed ,old friend. I assure you, all of this was a mere misunderstanding! Yes, we sh-"

"**A bloody misunderstanding?!" **Creighton interrupted Pate with an uppercut brimmed with raged **"By your standards, I am sure that cutting your nutter and feedin' it to ya is a 'misunderstanding' as well, aight?"**

"Easy there, Bruv." Patches had to interfere "We are not murderers… sort of. We are civilized men. Our punishment should be …. More creative."

Creighton was still in doubt "**You'd better…this stalling is killing me!"**

"Oh don't you worry….things are about to get _warmed up_."

* * *

Pate was forced to march forward with the tip of the bald man's spear constantly poking him. in his current state, he couldn't run away or fight. They went to the Cardinal tower bonfire down the ladder to an unsafe edge overseeing gouts of flames down below.

"** Is that your 'big' surprise you little runt?" **Creighton couldn't restrain himself any more; he pulled out his Dragonslayer's Crescent Axe. Patch got sick of the man constant murderous intent and simply kicked him like he always do. the crackle of bones echo throughout the blazing hall. It is unknown whether it was fortunate or unfortunate for Creighton not to fall in the blazing pillar. **"Yo…u B-bastard."**

Pate blinked twice when Patches cut of his binding with a knife "There you go, Mate. All free now"

"I…i…well, thank you."

"I wouldn't be ever so thankful if were you." in a tick, Pate was kicked alongside with Creighton. His left arm embraced the impact.

"Hahahahahahaha! This is what I do my friends!" surprisingly enough, Patches threw both Pate's spear and the Dragonslayer axe within their reach.

"Both you had it comin'. Drangleic is my new beauty to spoil without Crazed men or competitors! You'd better set your differences…. The salamanders are coming! See ya soon, Mates! **Hwahaahahah!"**

Patches left the scene leaving the two handicapped rivals with the arrival of two starving Salamanders. Onto more fools to exploit…

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**I actually wrote this before Mxthomas' invasion :p**

**Also, Evil Blight loves Open ended ending much to your (reader) demise XD**


End file.
